Coconut Milk?
by Kirsty Joy
Summary: AU Chlex silliness. A pregnant Chloe has very odd cravings, and Lex thinks that she needs sleep. Pure fluff.


First of all, I will not be held responsible for either character going out of character... If you are worried about that; don't bother reading. Also! This is pure - and I mean unadulterated - Chlex fluff silliness. Don't like? Don't read!

Okay? We straight? Good. :-) Enjoy the story - if you still intend to read it.

Set in an undetermined time. Very AU.

. . . .

Chloe sat curled up on a couch eating something out of a bowl with obvious pleasure. The gas fireplace was the only light in the darkened room, and she felt very cozy with a blanket around her shoulders.

Lex stood in the doorway for over ten minutes just watching her before he shifted his weight and a floor board creaked, causing her to look up sharply.

"I am going to have to get that fixed," he laughed ruefully, coming the rest of the way into the room and sitting down next to her on the couch on top of her feet, "Remind me to do that tomorrow."

"So someone can sneak up on me without my noticing?" she shook her head, taking another bite and licking her lips, "No thanks."

"You are so beautiful," his eyes crinkled up at the corners as he smiled at her, continuing to drink in the sight of her loveliness, "Do you have any idea how scary the thought is that I almost chose Lana over you? We would have been a disaster relationship wise - forget about how she would have encouraged a descent from humaneness. I will always be thankful that you would not leave me alone until I left the path that I was on."

"And became the first honorable Luthor in decades," she smiled at him fondly, "Though I have to say that I think that the moment of your change in pace actually was the moment that you developed a taste for blonde reporter wannabees instead of manipulative brunettes."

Lex chuckled, "Hair color is that important, huh?"

"Well, I'm not completely blonde," Chloe admitted, looking as though she were confessing some deep dark sin, "My hair darkened with puberty, but I keep getting it highlighted. Will you be disappointed if our baby has dark hair instead of blonde or red?"

"That's ridiculous," he leaned back and put his arm around her, "Are you changing the subject on purpose?"

"No," she cuddled up to him and offered him the bowl she was holding, "Want some?"

"What is it?" skeptically looking into the bowl, he raised an eyebrow at the unusual looks of her snack.

"My new favorite; strawberry cultured coconut milk with raisins and chocolate sauce." she smiled proudly, taking another bite, "Plus a pickle to dip into it. It's really good."

"I'll let you enjoy it then," he shuddered delicately, "It doesn't look as though it would be exactly my style."

"Oh come now," she held up a spoonful and brought it to his mouth, "Are you trying to tell me that a man who has eaten fish eggs and snails on a regular basis is refusing something as really tasty as this?"

"Ye..." he opened his mouth, realizing his mistake too late when she popped the spoon inside and pushed up on his chin to keep it in his mouth.

"There!" she smiled expectantly, withdrawing the spoon as he swallowed hard, "How was that?"

"Chloe," looking a little worse for the wear, he patted her arm and flinched as she brought another spoonful to her mouth, "It may be because I have never liked coconut milk or raisins, or it may be because I don't like strawberries; I'm not sure, but those things together - mixed with the taste of pickle juice... it really wasn't my favorite thing. Why don't you enjoy the rest of it and I'll stick to the caviar and escargot that you dislike?"

"Whatever," she shrugged, wiggling her toes under him and grinning as he jumped, "Your taste buds are weird."

"It couldn't be that you have pregnancy cravings that I simply don't enjoy, could it?" Lex asked, pushing her feet away.

"No," she shook her head adamantly, savoring the last bite, "Not possible. I'm completely normal; always have been. You're the strange one, remember?"

"Whatever you say, dear," he smiled, putting a gentle hand on her huge belly, "Perhaps some of my strangeness got transferred to you through this little one."

"Do you like crab cakes?" Chloe asked curiously.

"Are you tired?"

"Why?"

"Because this conversation keeps jumping around and getting more strange," he eyed her as she proceeded to lick her bowl clean, "Yes, I like crab cakes, why?"

"I just wanted to know if you liked crab cakes." she shrugged, "No reason."

"Do you have to lick that bowl?" he raised an eyebrow as her tongue continued to sweep around the interior of the bowl, seeking for any missed spots.

"Mmm," she stopped and grinned as she glanced up from her bowl to his head and, sneaking a toe under him again, remarked, "I think that you would look really cute with a cereal bowl on your head."

"That's it!" he yelped, jumping to his feet as she poked him, "You're going to bed! This conversation has gotten strange enough!"

"Make me." she challenged, her eyes lighting up with fun as she settled down further into her corner of the couch.

He looked at her doubtfully, not sure if this was a good idea.

"Oh come on," she pouted, "I'll tell you if it hurts, I promise. You're too careful with me! Women have been having babies for a very long time."

"Very well," he grinned, advancing on her slowly as she tensed in anticipation, "If you promise to tell me if you feel the least bit uncomfortable."

Just as he jumped forwards, she ducked sideways with an ease that surprised him, causing him to teeter precariously over the couch as she make a break for the door. Lex got his balance and turned around just as the door swung shut behind her. Shaking his head and wondering to himself why she couldn't be more of the average type of pregnant woman; tears and strange emotions he could handle, but he was never able to be sure what to expect from his wife.

The chase continued all over the enormous mansion, and Lex couldn't help but be glad that the staff had all gone home for the evening before it began. It wasn't that he was in the habit of explaining his actions to anyone, but this... well, it would be hard to explain.

_For someone who was eight months pregnant_, Lex thought to himself, sneaking down a random hallway and checking behind doors as he went, _She has a lot more energy than I would expect._

In the end it was her belly that was her downfall after all.

Rounding the corner and heading down the hall that led to their bedroom, Lex was arrested by a shadow. Pausing, he had to choke back a chuckle as one of the tasteful floor lights created a perfect shadow of Chloe hiding under one of the small side tables that stood at intervals down the hall.

Bending down suddenly, he found himself face to face with her, "Hah!"

Squealing, she started and then began a rather odd struggle. It seemed as though she intended to crawl out from under the table, but she wasn't making much progress; in fact she seemed to be just kneeling there rocking back and forth.

"Chloe?" Lex asked, concern becoming evident on his face, "Are you alright?"

"I'm defeated," she sighed, stopping her movements and looking up at him with a sheepish expression, "My knees are too crowded to move."

It was a heroic effort, but he managed to look perfectly serious as he realized that her trouble was caused by the fact that she was literally jammed under the table with her foot twisted at an uncomfortable angle by the pressure on her knees and that she was unable to change position because her pregnant belly was in the way.

"Help?" she blinked up at him.

Finally allowing himself to grin, Lex stood up and took hold of the table, grunting a bit as he lifted it as high as possible and moved it over her head. Setting it down he put his hands under her arms and lifted her up until she was back on her feet.

"My hero," she smiled, placing a kiss on his still smiling mouth, "In spite of the fact that you were so obviously amused by my predicament."

"Well," he returned the kiss before replying, "Now that I have proven myself to be your hero, it's time for you to go to bed."

"Carry me." looking at him expectantly.

Giving an exaggerated groan, Lex obligingly picked her up bridal style and carried her to their room.

"Alright," he said setting her down, "Go brush your teeth."

"No," she sat down on the bed and snuggled down, closing her eyes, "I'm too tired."

"Chloe!" shaking his head, "Just a few minutes ago you were so full of energy you wanted to play tag."

"Go 'way." she turned on her side and swatted in his direction, keeping her eyes closed, "I'm sleeping."

Since her eyes were closed, he allowed himself the luxury of rolling his eyes at her before heading to the bathroom to brush his own teeth.

. . .

After he climbed carefully into bed, Lex lay watching her sleep for a while before shutting off the soft light on his nightstand. Her hand was curled gently shut and rested on the pillow right next to her slightly open mouth. With her blond hair spread over the pillow, and an expression of complete security on her face, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  
Lex couldn't help but reflect what a lucky man he was as he turned out the light and settled down next to her. Besides; Chloe was very interesting as an expectant mother - maybe they should consider having another baby after this one arrived...

. . . .

If you liked it, please do let me know. If not, please keep your comments, complaints, criticisms, and rudeness to yourself. If I continue to receive nasty anonymous comments, I'm going to make it so you have to sign in to comment (scary music...) Okay? good.

I hope that the story made you laugh, giggle, or at least smile. :-) Have a great day!


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